I rejoined a couple of sites I knew well, but this time would be different as I was getting quite an "old hand" at this dating lark, so I knew what to look out for, how to spot the scammers and thought it might be more successful this time.
It wasnt long before I started chatting to a guy who lived in the same town as me and we had quite a lot in common. He had had a couple of bad experiences on the internet and I remember thinking that in some ways that was good to hear, because at least I know he's genuine and probably not a player. He asked me whereabouts in the town I lived and although I knew better than to give guys my address, I explained whereabouts I lived and he knew that part of the town well. He was very keen to meet me quite early on and I agreed to meet him at the local for a quick drink within a couple of days. We exchanged mobile no's and agreed to meet. I remember arriving at the pub and he was waiting outside - my first thoughts were to drive off - as I knew instantly he wasn't my type. His picture on the site hadnt been that close up, so it had been a bit difficult to tell what he looked like, but this guy definitely wasnt my type. I decided I couldnt be rude and would just have one drink and leave politely. We had a drink and he then asked me if I'd like another - without wanting to sound horrible, I said "yes - ok". I had decided that I would text him afterwards saying the "thanks, but no thanks" line. After the 2nd drink, he asked me whether we could go out to dinner some time and I remember saying to him that I didn't like to make any decisions on the 1st date and that I would text him and let him know. He said he really liked me and hoped we'd be able to go out again. I got home and sent him a text saying "thanks but no thanks". He text back asking why. I told him that he was a nice guy, but ...... . I thought that would be the end of it - but oh no. I then got on average 25 texts a day for the next 2 weeks. On hindsight, I shouldn't have answered any of them - I should have just ignored them, but I didn't - I felt bad, I felt sad for him and didn't want to hurt him. He asked me things like, "am I ugly", "what did I do wrong". I found myself answering him and saying things like "its not you, its me". After 2 weeks, I was at the end of my tether and ended up being blatantly rude to him, just to get him off my back. I was sitting at home one day and he walked past my window, an hour or so later, he walked past again. Was this a coincidence - I wasn't sure. A couple of days later, I was just putting my key in the door, when he walked past again and saw me - so now he knew where I lived. I didnt speak to him - I just closed my door. The next day, I came home and my daughter told me that a man had knocked at the door asking for me and asked when I was going to be home. Now I was seriously worried - this was officially a stalker. He was obviously unstable, to what degree I didn't know and certainly didn't want to find out - but I was actually worried for my daughter. I remembered him telling me he worked for the RAF, so I text him and told him I would report him if he didn't leave me alone. It worked, I never heard from him again. I see him occasionally in the local supermarket and he looks away and so do I.