I did nothing for about 5 weeks and tried to get over Dan.  It wasn't easy.  He lived in the same village as me, so I found myself looking out for him at the shops, driving deliberately passed his house just to see if his car was there.  I was torturing myself.  After a couple of weeks, I decided to change my mindset about it all and told myself and others that he didn't deserve me and I was ready to move on.  I rejoined a couple of dating sites.  A lot of people told me I must be made putting myself back on there again but I had become quite hardened to all this and just decided I had to pick myself back up, as the alternative was to sit at home and mope around.  I got chatting to a guy who lived quite local and we chatted on line for a couple of days before exchanging email addresses.  We had an amazing banter on line and he appeared to be a very funny guy.  From what he wrote, it sounded like he'd been hurt too.  It was at this point that he came clean.  He was in fact still living in the same house as his wife, although he told me they were definitely separated and he had not slept with her in over a year.  She was due to move out with the kids in the coming weeks. 

I should have run a mile at that point but this guy intrigued me and I found him very funny.  The banter we had on line was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.  So even though I knew it was probably destined to doom, I decided to meet him for a drink.  Now after all my experiences with internet dating, I now only ever meet someone for a coffee at lunchtime, but that coming weekend, I was at a real loose end and as we'd had such a good banter on line, I agreed to meet him in the evening at a local pub. 

The evening came and we both joked on email about how nervous we were.  I made a throwaway comment that "dont forget your spreadsheet".  I arrived at the pub and realised he was there, as he'd told me what car he drove and it was parked at the front of the car park.  I entered the pub and as soon as I saw him sitting at a table with my glass of wine waiting, my heart sunk.  I knew immediately he wasnt my type.  His photos on the site did him great justice and he actually wasn't as nice in the flesh.  He got up to greet me and it was then that I was fully aware of what little effort he had made for our date.  He had a tshirt on that I would have used for decorating and trainers.  Now dont get me wrong, Im not adverse to casual dress but come on, trainers on a date is an absolute no-no.  I sat down and had already made my mind up that this was not going anywhere but as I knew he was quite a funny guy on email, at least I was likely to have a bit of a laugh.  It was then he produced the spreadsheet!

It had a list of questions to ask me and a list of things he wanted to tell me about himself (he'd actually noted in bold "be completely honest").  I was gobsmacked.  He proceeded to write down my answers in the spaces alongside the questions.  I didnt know whether to laugh or run.  After about 1 hour of being questioned as if I was on an interview, he got up and offered me another drink.  I don't know what made me say yes, but I did and as he got up to go the bar, he decided to tell me that he fancied me.  Oh shit.  This was going to be harder than I thought.  I had one more drink and made my excuses to leave.  He walked me to my car and went in for the kiss.  I turned and offered my cheek.  He still didn't appear to get the message as he then asked "am I going to see you again".  Now I normally say something like "well lets sleep on it and I'll text you tomorrow" but I couldnt.  He was actually a very sweet guy, so I came clean and told him that we were never going to be romantically involved but thanked him for a nice evening.  He sent me an email a couple of days later saying he'd had a nice evening and if I wanted to use him for just sex, he'd be happy to oblige.  I dont think so!!